HOW ANGER AND RESENTMENT IMPACTS ACHIEVEMENT

Your heart begins to beat with rage.  Anger oozes through the circuitry elements of your mind. As you become aware of the moment of anger and rage, try and follow it back to its source. What was it that made you so angry in the first place? Imagine walking through the city and coming across a group of tourists who are taking up a big part of the side walk so that they can enjoy the sites. What about being stopped at a red light; the moment it turns green, the lead car isn’t paying attention and waits an additional five seconds before accelerating. By then, the light changes color and you have to wait an additional 2-3 minutes before it changes back. How are you feeling as you struggle to make it to work? Feeling a little anxious and agitated at the driver that wasn’t paying attention? Kind of makes you want to chase that person down and give him a piece of your mind, doesn’t it?  Do they not have consideration for others? As you watch the nightly news, negative reported events begin to set in motion the engines of rage. I can feel it as I write this. Thinking about all the things that really set me off. And there are many things that do so. No matter where I go, there they are. It’s nonstop and like a continuous cycle of repeated offenses. Day in and day out, anger becomes the center piece. Is there no escape? Like a locomotive barreling down the tracks of an old western; strapped and immoveable there I am, just waiting for the impending outcome. My heart imploding within me, my mind ignites a jolt of adrenaline that can be felt fueling my veins, my pupils constrict and become focused on the target. I am controlled by a greater force, that which I cannot describe. There I stand geared and ready as my mind becomes high jacked, releasing an uncontrollable beast. What is this thing that seeks to conquer my mind? What is its mission? What does it want from me?

 Do you struggle with anger and rage? Do you ever consider where it comes from? Have you ever thought about the significance of it in regard to achieving your goals? Do you even think it has anything to do with achievement? There are many different levels to it and so many personalities that deal with it in their own way. I’m going to give a unique perspective from my experiences and observations. Although I’m sure you could write an entire book on the subject, I’m going to focus only on just a few key areas.

Respect

Respect can be very difficult to understand, especially if we run around feeling entitled to such a thing. Each day, we spend much of our time with our employer. Feeling disrespected and underappreciated, we go throughout our day in search of acknowledgement and respect.  As we drive the local highways, we raise our fist to the guy that just cut us off.” How dare he treat me like that!” We even get so angry as to sometimes break the law in order to chase that SOB down and “set things straight”. We get home only to find the lack of respect extends to family members and even the family pet. “No one ever listens to what I have to say.” In the words of Rodney Dangerfield, “I get no respect around here”. As we trek through the city, people populate the sidewalks, jockeying for position as they push and advance toward their destinations. Each one of us gets disrespected by the guy that was disrespected by the guy before him and so it begins a vicious cycle of continuous disrespect. In order to protect ourselves from being mistreated, we may even sometimes misconstrue the actions of another and overwhelm that person with the very treatment that we try to protect ourselves from. Through past experiences and sometimes life-long insecurities, we allow our emotions to get in the way of achieving our goals and realizing our dreams.

I watched an older Chris Rock movie that used a pretty good analogy for this topic and it goes a little something like this. When you go to the horse races and you see the horses all dressed up and ready to go, you’ll also notice that they have blinders on. This is designed to block their peripheral vision so that they do not get distracted by the other horses. They just run their race and only their race. They don’t get consumed by the ever evolving distractions surrounding them. So, I’m going to leave you with this thought; No matter what you do in life, just run your race. Don’t fall for everyone else’s drama and antics. You will cross paths with people who purposely make every attempt to distract and mislead you. Stay the course and run your race.

 Patience

Patience …..Patience ……… Patience… We hear it every day; cries from outsiders calling on us to be patient. We’ve heard it so many times that the word itself is enough to trigger bouts of anger. Is there any hope for those that struggle with patience? I am inclined to give a resounding YES on that one. We all, at one point, have struggled with patience. If patience wasn’t such an issue, we all would be rich and famous! Am I right? Living the life up in the ole penthouse downtown New York style. Wishful thinking to believe that patience can be bypassed. Who knows; there may be some secret code out there somewhere that allows us to reach the life style that we want much quicker. Wishful thinking, I know. Why do you think industries are able to make literally billions off of the ‘quick fix’ product or service. Everyone has dreams of becoming rich and hopefully one day traveling the world. I believe the biggest mistake though is allowing ourselves to fall into the misconception that it can happen by taking the easiest route. In fact, it isn’t the actual destination but “who we have to become” to get to where we want to go. This is obviously much easier said than done. But hey, who knows, maybe these words will trigger a thought and maybe that thought will ignite an idea, which will then set in motion a series of actions toward your dreams.

I have been impatient most of my life and that impatience has led me to changing my mind and my goals so many times it almost seems like I was continuously being distracted by the next big thing. Funny as it may seem now, I was like a dog chasing its tail. Very counterproductive, always ending up where I started. So, that got me thinking. How long does it take the average successful person to make his climb? You see, society may recognize the highest points but they don’t have the opportunity to experience the darkest hours with that individual. I believe in a man’s finest hour you will find him enduring much pain and internal conflict.  In order to become great, a certain level of pain and suffering has to be endured. This molds you into the person that you have to become. When you think about your ambitions, do not become anxious; the inevitable awaits. Do not be hurried because you will only end up where you began. Be calm and know that the gifts that you have been blessed with will guide you. Learn to trust those gifts.

Fulfillment

Developing a sense of fulfillment takes an unwavering desire to objectively tap into a vast array of internal resources. Having the ability to stop and examine your entire lifestyle gives you the framework to attract your most desirable characteristics. In my most humble opinion, one of the greatest obstacles to anger is fulfillment. Many of us stumble through life not knowing or recognizing the source of anger and resentment. We just know that we are angry at everyone and everything. What would you say to the notion that having a sense of great accomplishment and fulfillment makes us happy; it gives us meaning and purpose; it motivates us and gives us a sense of direction. It’s why we get out of bed each morning. We feel a sense of pride and purpose. Fulfillment fills that void, it completes us in a way that nothing us will. Fulfillment soothes the anger and sets us off toward our greatest and most inner desires. It gives us the life that we seek.

Organization

Our lives are so consumed by so many tasks that’s it’s extremely difficult to keep it in order. A recital here, a band practice there. We, as individuals, are left feeling drained and overwhelmed by the many distractions handed down to us by the ever growing worldly myths and misperceptions of what it means to live the “dream”. Society, as a whole, really has no sense of time management nor do they know what it means to live a well organized life. I’m speaking in generalities, ofcourse. I am well aware that there are many individuals that have an organized list of priorities. When we travel through an unorganized and unfiltered lifestyle, we tend to lose focus on all the important stuff and lose that sense of control we aim for. We all want to know that we have total control of our own lives but when we allow it to escape from us, we become extremely agitated and anxious over an uncertain future. Gaining a sense of control by prioritizing goals and establishing standards gives us an amazing opportunity to bring our dreams that much closer to reality. Consider this for a moment; scrounge up a notebook and write down 1 goal you would like to accomplish within the next 12 months. This sets the basis for achieving that goal. Next, how are you going to meet that deadline? Just below your 12-month goal, break it down into monthly goals. And then shoot for weekly goals, as well as daily goals. What this does is it breaks your ultimate goal down into itty bitty achievements. Small victories will help you gain momentum and build confidence toward a better and brighter you. Oh, I forgot to mention, each morning take about 5 minutes to sit down at the table and write your goals in a tablet. This establishes a foundation and builds a core belief in your subconscious mind by repeatedly reminding yourself of the items on the list of priorities that you set for yourself. Over the years, we have trained our minds to unknowingly carry out bad habits. These bad habits became ingrained in our subconscious minds. Maybe it’s time to train your subconscious mind to develop good habits. The mind is your most powerful asset. Please, do not understate the enormous power and ability of your mind. You can become anything you want, do anything you want. It’s all up to you.

Expectations

Tame the ‘quick success’ expectations a bit. Lord Willing, you’re going to live a long, prosperous life. You’re in it for the long hall. You’re not in it for the money. This is your passion, your love. Treat it well and it will reward you. Don’t think of the destination but envision who you have to become to reach that desired outcome. Everyone of us are unique, built with amazing influence and character. Develop the skills and talents that you have hidden deep within yourselves and allow the winds of true independence and freedom to pull you in.

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